At work in the Asylum

A colleague and me observing a patient in isolation.

I'm the one with the pink uniform on the right. And yes, I'm wearing a transparent latex catsuit underneath...

;-)

Isolated thoughts

My MD isolation is taking slightly longer than I had thought it to take. Not in sl hours, I'm not stacking penalty time like one easily does in Banishment, but in not making enough sl hours this week due to a busy rl.

However, I'm down to 1 sl hour of isolation now, so it can be expected my communications will get restored tonight. It will be weird, because somehow I'm getting used to get around as a deaf-mute half-blind latex humanoid, knowing very little of what is going on around her, understanding even less, and not really caring any more about it too.
Basic sl gestures are my friends now, and it's surprising how much I actually can "say" through them. At least, that's what I think, because I have mostly no idea whether the other people understand what I try to make clear, or are even noticing me to start with. Only very few try to communicate. Sad, because although it's frustrating and hard, it's challenging me too, and I like it. Even have been fantasizing of being made sl deaf and/or mute long term.

Another part of me though longs to become a "full part of society" again, talking to people, listening to them, caress Pike, meeting new and old friends,... I even feel my D side waking up again!
I've been dreaming about me domming while wearing my red latex torso and transparent catsuit, with my long sexy red boots, but with a slave helmet locked on my head, and a chastity belt around my waist, or even a tight corset.

*blushes invisibly inside helmet*

Lost in isolation

As I wrote in my previous post, I have been captured by Kira and imprisoned in her dungeon. I was hoping for my Pike to rescue me.

So... Pike came and tried to negotiate, while having to avoid being enslaved herself. I dunno the details of this negotiations, but I saw her getting the rank of Mistress again.
Then She told me she let Kira know about the MD Prison system, and if Kira liked that, I would regain my freedom. And... Kira apparently likes it!

But does this mean I am free now? Of course not!
It's even worse: I have been put in the MD prison myself, and I'm facing the world now through a semi-transparent maze, totally deaf and mute, even emotes are not allowed. Sometimes, for a reason I don't know, maybe even randomly, my view turns completely black.

I have been an MD prisoner before - for shorter time - and the most frustrating about it is the total lack of ways to make yourself clear, or even just to let people know you cannot hear them or talk to them. But now I learned there is a tiny way of expression left open: gestures! I can shrug, nod yes or no, and a little more basic gestures. And although I can't say anything myself, I can hear IM.

After a long time in a 'pod' (MD Prison has no cells, but small pods), I'm on 'probation' now, enclosed in my isolation suit, but free to move around. In theory, because apparently I must have been in the way, since they forced me back in my regular cell, reducing my already limited freedom even further. I think my Sis would be jealous..

My probation time will end... some time. But will that get me free? Will my Pike get me out of there in the end? Will I be promoted to be a guard or even a Mistress again, just like I desired at the beginning of this story? Or will I be ready for the Asylum again?

Oh nooo!

What a weird day in sl yesterday... after a long time no see, my sis Qt and I finally got to spend some time together. So we chatted a little, and at some point we decided to visit Paine Asylum so I could show Sis where I found some mental rest first and am working now.

We tp'ed there, and were about to enter the building, when Kira appeared. You should know, dear reader, both Sis and I have some kind of a history with Kira and her Sadism group. Hmmmm, is that an understatement?

Now the last part in my history with Kira was me being ejected from the Sadism group. Since I hadn't got the opportunity to ask about that, after Kira beating us up and going home again, I did...

The reply was a tp offer. A bit a strange reply, but thinking it would only last a minute and seeing Qt was talking to someone else, I took the tp... which ended me somewhere in a prison cell.

It's all a bit too confusing and complicated to write down in detail, but they made me a slave and are not really going to release me soon, I think. If they are going to respect my limits a bit - which they didn't do yesterday, even after me warning them explicitely - I don't mind this happening to me...

But I did mind leaving Qt behind, and not, as I thought to do, return after a minute. I felt so bad, I felt so sorry, I felt ashamed,... I don't know whether there is any decent excuse for this.
I tried to make it good with Sis, I hope I did, I hope she understands.

And I hope Pike comes to rescue me :-)

Virtual happiness?

My sis Qt reminded me I told her long time ago she would not find happiness in sl the way she wanted it. This might be hard the way it sounds, but that time I was very desperate on her, and kinda mad to see her unhappy. Frustrated even, as I realized even me - and certainly me - would never be able to help my sis, my dear friend.
But the truth behind unfortunately still holds: one has to adapt ones wishes and desires to what can be achieved. In al lifes, but especially in sl, as most of us are there to have some fun, and - as I suspect - to find some relief from rl.

They say you can be whoever or whatever you want in sl. That's true to a certain level, but after all you still are who you are, your sl avatar and you share the same soul... your avatar's character lives somewhere deep inside the rl you. Maybe very hidden, maybe not, maybe you didn't even know it was there. Yes, sl can help you discover a lot about yourself, whether it be good or bad.

I see around me a lot of close friends suffering to find and keep virtual happiness, and Saint knows I get my part of suffering too. Just read this blog...
But I am starting to realize now you have to be open to it, and - more importantly? -accept what you get. Try to not be blind for the love and friendship that is offered to you, even when it's not exactly what you expected.

To me, my stay in the Paine Asylum was a highlight in my history. It saved me. I was right another time when I wrote here about half a year ago I needed it. I feel better now. I should start my training to work there, to give something back.
But... the call of restriction is so strong, I might need some more isolation time first...

Out on the streets again

Good news everyone! (©Futurama) I have been found sane again and been released...

I can't stress enough how thankful I am for this magnificent rp experience. There should be more setups like this in sl...

As said before, I'd love to be a nurse or doctor or whatever there, and I applied for a job indeed, but for now, I need some time to chill out, or whatever you might call it.

Some time to talk to friends, visit places,... I have been blocked from IM and restricted to a couple of rooms for weeks. After some time you get used to the small world you're confined to, and you stop being aware there is more outside. But this Outside World moves on, with or without you, and the longer you were away from it, the more you notice when you return, it has indeed moved on.

Apart from 'working' at the Asylum, I really don't have any plans right now. Pike's still in the Asylum, and considering my job application, I don't bother at all her staying there some more time ;-)
I do bother not having seen her for more than a week, though, but ... rl happens.

Ahhh well.... relax Danii, and take your pills!

xXx

Getting better.... or not?

Time passes by very fast. I'll be a Paine Asylum patient for 4 weeks soon, a month...
Well, rl hasn't given me a lot of time to play recently, and apparently the same goes for my friends. Or maybe it's just bad timings? It's been ages I've seen Pike, for example.
It drives me crazy :-P

I was able to be online only for half an hour yesterday, but this was enough to bounce into another patient and get some nice rp.
Jayleia Greene was the SLBI agent who arrested Pike and me and had us sent to slJail long time ago. And she's either gone crazy by her job as a crime fighter, either is infiltrating in the Asylum to spy on Pike or me. But she seemed very afraid of me, even more afraid than me...
The setting of 2 paranoids afraid of each other was very promising for some lovely rp, and what we got so far was very funny too. I was really sorry some rl appointment came in between. But yeah... rl happens.

sl happens too. Those spontaneous rp's may be the hardest to get, but they're the best. And in that light the Asylum is a gold mine, as everyone is in rp mode (nearly) all the time. And a lot of the patient characters are very well elaborated, almost creepy..

Okay, write me down for a job here!
...after I got sane, that is :-P

xXx

Still in the House of Mental Hygiene

It seems I'm here now for more than 3 weeks now, and still not ready for the outside world again. Although doctors and nurses keep telling there's a lot of process in my healing.

Fact is, the longer I am staying in this protected environment, the harder it might become to reintegrate into society again. It seems Danii's paranoid fears of witches and other evil people and creatures are fading away to make room for the fear of being outside the warm and cosy asylum shell again...

But silently, it's becoming time to move along one way or another. I'd say I have seen all of Paine Asylum now, but that's not true. While the default punishment for triggering the fire alarm is some time in isolation, I haven't seen an isolation cell from the inside so far, despite pulling the fire alert twice.
Becoming a member of staff in the Asylum is an option, whether it be as a doctor or as a nurse. But for a girl just released after a long time in a protective and restricting environment, strict guidance and limited, or restrained freedom is probably the first Path to follow..

xXx