Bad timing...

I guess my blog is rather dead. Yes it is...
But it's some kind of an emergency I'm posting now: as I won't be able at all to log on to sl for some time, yesterday was supposed to be the moment to say goodbye to sweet Pike and friends. Alas! My Internet connection couldn't choose a worse moment to break down. Speaking of a bad timing!

There's more bad timing in my rl atm btw, but this blog isn't about that of course! I hope all goes well.

So....
If anyone of you is still checking this blog, please please please contact Pike Mayo to tell her it's not my fault and certainly not my intention to leave without a proper goodbye, and send her my kisses.

xXx

It's oh so quiet?

It's true: it's almost been a month since my last post. I don't feel much about it... I somehow announced I was about to post less and less.

The nasty bit is that some good old friends may only be hearing from me through this little blog, as they may be too restricted in sl to contact me there. Maybe e-mail?

For me, I am still pretty restricted too. Not much has changed since my previous post, except for our anniversary approaching pretty close now, more precisely it's the day after tomorrow! I think there something might be upcoming :-)

So... I haven't had much freedom for more than a month now. Gags went on and off, blindfolds too, corset and earmuffs sometimes. Cuffs, mittens and boots are on all the time. Never I have been off leash, or even able to tp out of my own initiative. I have no idea where I have been except for the places I recognized when I was able to view, no idea who talked to me unless they let me know...

It's been hard and boring sometimes, but generally I liked it. I still do.

I got the attention I crave for.

This is a huge thank you to my Mistress and our big family.

And for the future?

If all my restrictions were taken away at once, I would feel lost and unhappy, and maybe do syllie things. But by now I think I have learned to value any allowed freedom - even when it's only for a brief time - and I try to be grateful for it.

Perhaps I will be allowed to go visit some friends one day, or being taken to see them on a leash? Or will I be allowed to get some new haircut, clothes, glasses, or even toys? Although I still got a collection of toys that have been used rarely or never on me...

I'm not talking about the new "toy" Pike showed me yesterday. This toy might also provide us a lot of fun though...

xXx

My little world of darkness

After a good rl vacation, I'm back in sl. However not really taking part in it, as Mistress decided to keep me in my current restrained state mostly for now. I still can't move, I'm still blindfolded, I'm still gagged so tight I can't utter the slightest mumble...

My earmuffs are off though, so I can hear what is being said around me. And sometimes I get touched. Besides that there is something on my belt stimulatingly buzzing inside me, not enough to give me real pleasure, but enough to keep me constantly aroused and longing for more.
When I am transported every now and then, I am totally disoriented and have no idea where I am or have been. I might be very vulnerably exposed, but this isn't bothering me at all, as I am limited to my little world of darkness anyway.
Nobody really can enter this world, so I feel safe here. However it happened a couple of times someone nearly choked me by simply pinching my nose. My body has gone so numb by the strict restraints I can't feel much touch or pain anymore.
It was easier than you might think to give up control if you don't have a choice. It's even exciting me to be totally handed over to Mistress' judgement and pleasure.

I have no idea what will happen next, but somewhere next month it's 2 years I am with Pike, and I deeply hope this second anniversary will be much happier than our first. Oh.... I miss Pike so much!

Not an inch..

It's a tradition... I don't know who invented it, but before going rl for some longer period, a good sub needs to be stored securely.

So that's what happened to me yesterday. Mittens, boots, cuffs, gag, chastbelt, corset, blindfold, and earmuffs - have I named them all? - prevent me from moving, talking, seeing, hearing,...

I can't move an inch!
Thank you Mistress!

Oh wait! I can still nod my head. I just realize a posture collar or neck corset is a peace of gear missing in my collection!

Finally I'm getting some! Makes me feel a lot better already. Or is it my rl holiday coming up? Maybe it's the same rl thing that has been stressing me out recently?
Do I have to take vacations more often to get tied up properly? Should we do this every time I go out for the weekend?
Or do I just have to be more clear about my needs and not suppose other people can derive them from my profile? I really had to guide Mistress through my bondage process. I felt so much like topping from the bottom... Chantal would never have accepted this! And yes it would be more fun to get this treatment without having to give all these hints, but maybe it's just a thing that needs to be done once to initiate new ways? I hope Mistress will learn about my desires by this, and create another chance for me to be happy in our family?
Ohhhh... I'm dreaming of such sessions, played more slowly, restrictions being applied one by one, with some accompanying teasing rp, me never knowing what is going to be taken away from me next!
Maybe taking off my bounds after my return can be done this way? Slowly, one by one... one a day? After such an extended stay in subspace, the shock of reintegration shouldn't be too abrupt, should it?

I have some thinking to do... there's too much drama to be good. Am I attracting it? Am I causing it? Is Pike? Have we joined the wrong family? Why can Pike domme other people, but not me? Am I just too impossible to be dommed?

My longing to be bound, I kinda realized.... that's maybe why girls like qt and Syllie got so attracted to me in the past? Because we have similar desires? And me having some switch capacities, being able to understand and give them what they need?
Well.... partially that is. As my own subbie needs were (are?) preventing me from giving them enough of what they long for.

And now off to rl...

I'm nothing

There's a lot of things to do in life, and life is short, and busy already. And still some people like to spend time in sl, which means staring at a screen basically. It shows less annoying breaks than the other screen a lot of people spend time staring at, and it's supposed to be more interactive.

I'm one of those people who can easily turn off their tv when there's nothing on, I almost never turn it on anymore, to be honest. As I said: there so much things to do in life...

The same (finally?) starting to happen regarding sl...
Just like when I watch the other screen, if nothing is really happening on my computer screen, and the response to my attempts to create some interaction, stay mainly void, there's no reason not to log.

Last night was one of these boring sessions...
Pike was busy playing with Zado, and apart from answering my kiss and grabbing my leash, had only attention for her "doll".
Zado is her doll...
Me, I'm nothing.

So, that was already lowering my temper. Mistress responded my IM greeting. Good. Then she tp'ed in to watch us, with a bunch of friends. I didn't even get a kiss! Whatever I said or did, went by unnoticed.
I'm nothing.
I said goodnight and logged.
Oh yes, that was noticed..

Boredom

Probably it's me not having slept very well recently? But I'm sorry this might be yet another nagging post...

I think I'm going to let fade away this blog anyway, as I don't feel much like posting here anymore. But you might have noticed already the frequency of my posts has decreased drastically already. This did not happen on purpose. It just happened. And to be honest, I don't mind.

Pike and I agree Dio is the best Mistress we could find in sl, but that this does not mean she is perfect. Just as all good Mistresses, she's getting stressed by too much subs begging for her attention. And here I am going to out some criticism. From my point of view, sometimes Mistress Dio is not making the right choices about who will get her attention.
Of course her attention should go to her wife Jenny first. I do not doubt on that, and I hope nothing comes in between them. And if Dio is called by goddess, that also has priority. But next to that, I think her owned girls have the most right on her attention.
And here is where I -and Pike also- have been disillusioned recently. Us giving our keys to a Mistress, has a certain expectation in it. We give away ourself, our right to go and do as we want, but that's not without hoping and trusting there will be an equal return, or even more, there will be a win-win result for all of us.
Last night nothing happened. It rendered Pike in doubt, and me in despair. Even more I was getting upset. That's why I logged off. To avoid losing my temper and saying things I'd regret later on. I had to. My recent lack of sleep certainly hasn't done good to my patience and temper. But still...

I still think I did right by logging and avoiding bad words. I was surprised though not finding a message this morning.

Am I being selfish? Everybody is, in a way.
Am I a bad sub? Maybe. I guess that depends on your idea of how a sub should be.
But maybe I was? People can't be perfect all the time.
Neither as a Mistress or as a sub.

I'm spending less time in sl. Or at least I try to. It's a good thing to have rl.
But the time I spend in sl, I'd like to be quality time.

How is this supposed to last?

Apparently I can't please my wife Pike anymore. And to be honest, she hasn't given me much joy lately either..

I'm not going into details, but I tried both being good and bad, being s and d, begging for her love and care like a hungry dog, but it's not working out.
It's not that we don't love each other anymore, but right now this love feels so... empty.

I feel like I've lead myself in a dead end street without end, somewhere I must have taken or missed a turn I shouldn't have. But there is no such thing as a rewind on life. I guess this is true for both first and second versions of it.

Being me is hard. I shouldn't think that much... I should think a little more... I don't know...
Do I need a break? Do I need to break?
I can't image sl without Pike anymore. But like my sl is now, it isn't satisfying either.

The next step is hers to take. But will she? And what will I do while waiting? And how long should I reasonably wait?

How is this supposed to last?

Someone has been bad...

Jenny has been bad and is being punished by Mistress on the beach at sunset. Pike, Vanessa and me are made to watch.

Jenny, Mistress Dio's slave-wife, is called my twin sis sometimes, because we have the same hairstyle. But she's taller than me, and she has different eyes (and needs no glasses)

Journey

Once again it's clear that submission is a process, a journey, not a fixed situation or state.

This is true for both the top and bottom sides. Where the sub has to grow in her submission, and learn to put aside her own will and wanting in favor of her Mistress's, and to grow her trust in her Domme; the Domme has to learn to know her sub in order to be able to perform this guidance function and to earn her trust and submission.

Every play, every session, is a step on this Path. Some steps turn out to be in the wrong direction and seem not to bring you any further, but even out of those erroneous steps a lesson can be learned.

Mistress Dio is aware of all this very well. One night she met a limit of mine. She made a note of it. The next day she pushed my buttons in a way I never had expected would excite me so much. Thank you Mistress!
She'll probably go further in this direction, starting to learn what a bondage slut I am **blushes**
Maybe I should try to take some pictures and post them here, as I am hoping to get to some aesthetic outings.

xXx

All planning is futile...

I had planned to get active as a bane operator again, but...
1. There were no candidates online when I went looking,
2. After a week of absence, Pike was back online!

So...
I spent some quality time with Pike ^^
Mistress was not on, we even were all alone on the island, so we really could take advantage of it. And so I did, heehee!
No, I'm not gonna tell how I tied up my beloved Pike, and even whipped her!
Maybe that's a good deal, for our times together: if Pike doesn't domme me, I'll domme her?!

Well maybe that was because I had prepared myself a bit in domme mode anyway... the bane operator thing, you know?!

It's hard to find an explanation why I tend to go back to work at the bane center. I guess there is the waiting list and the call for operators in the first place. And perhaps there is the need for some balance between my increased sub life on one hand, and my domme instincts on the other? It's also a job I think I can combine rather easily with being there for Pike, Mistress, and family: apart from the processing rp that takes a couple of hours, monitoring banes is mostly a background activity. Only in case of an emergency I need to drop any activity - so there needs to be a safeword option in any other play I engage in - but those emergencies shouldn't occur.
There is also the emotional side of course. The bane vs. operator bond can get very intense and lasting, isn't it, Syllie? It's some Eudeamon thing I guess, or maybe a Stockholm syndrome. I finished the Mistress Danii chapter though... I am glad to have had marvelous times with the few girls who were allowed to call themselves owned by me, and I hope they also have some good memories of it, but I have found my place now, together with Pike at Mistress Dio's feet.

There's no place below me, in submission I trust.

End of trial

Our trial has ended, and Pike and me both got our collar locked by Misstress Dio!

^.^

Just like my previous post, where I told about my both sad and happy feelings about my new "cutie" nick name, I have some mixed feelings about this joining the Bratz family, because strictly spoken I am no longer owned by my sweet Pike now.
My heart still belongs to her of course, and we're still married, but it has touched my Pike very deep having to end an ownership that has last for exactly 20 months, and so it has done to me...

It's just this, because I have no doubt about my new family, and I'm happy and proud to be part of it now. I just can't be happy when my Pike isn't...
And Pike can still be my Mistress if she wants; my submission to her is still true. Or maybe we should call it dedication now?
I am sure Mistress Dio will caress the gift we gave her, but as submission is a Path, a journey, and not a state, this gift is in fact only a seed, which will need water, light and safe ground to grow.

Now that I'm thinking of this: it will be a challenge to find balance between my dedication to my wife Pike and my submission to Mistress Dio. But this submission involves me trusting Mistress in guiding me to find this precious balance.

And Mistress Dio is fully aware of this. To all Mistresses Pike (and me) tried after we left Chantal, Pike owning me was something they would like to ignore. Most tried to keep me out first, leaving me out in the cold. Not so for Mistress Dio, She immediately recognized Pike and me come in a package, and knew she could not get one without the other.
The collar issue proves all this is not trivial either, and it's "the ones in between" that get the hardest challenge. I know what I'm talking about being a switch and have both subs and a Mistress, it's the main reason I decided to focus on my sub side some time ago. Sweet Pike also suffers from it, but I hope Mistress will ease her pain and guide her to the right balance. Mistress Dio is also a switch, as she is also owned by Goddess, but apparently she has found Her Path...

D

Cutie - qt

So we're on trial with Miss Dio now. This means we're chained and locked in a small smoked plexiglass cilinder for an indefinite time, to make sure we're available for any family member to see us, talk to us, get to know us,... It can be a little lonely and boring too, when no one is around. Time to think, time to read the family's blogs also (oh yes, i will have to update my collection of links on this page!)

Miss Dio & Jen are (or have been) also reading my little blog - cool! I've got readers :-) - so I want to say hello this way.

Part of the trial is them finding a nickname for me, what they took care of yesterday. They're calling me cutie now. Because I'm... cute?

^.^

I like it, I love it, but it made me feel a little sad too. Cutie - cu-tee - sounds exactly like qt, who you might remember to be my sweet submissive sis and friend. Why I feel sad? Because I haven't heard of her for a long time. We've had a lot of drama together, a lot of discussions, pain maybe, but what one remembers in the longer end are the love, the warmth and the happy moments together.
If you still happen to read this, sis: I've not forgotten you or our happy times together! I hope you're okay, I hope you found whatever you were looking for. Kiss!

Getting this nickname was the most emotional thing that happened to me in my cylinder so far. But I seem to forget the immense amount of information about our family overwhelming me. There's a lot of rules, names, relationships,... I need to find my way in.
And I need to learn to have confidence in Miss taking the right decisions for me. There's nothing I want more than to relax, turn off the switch in my head, give up control and totally surrender to her judgement, but there seems to be always a storm of fears in my head. I guess that's exactly what ended me in the Paine Asylum too...
But me patiently waiting in my cylinder for whenever Miss decides the time is ready to let me out, is already a nice step in the right direction. I sense it's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of letting go control and just be a little raindrop in the flow, trusting the river will bring me to the sea safely.

xXx

Home and away

I'll post a quick blogpost here, as my rl is getting to me again, preventing me to spend time online for about a week again soon... I just hope things will stay right while I'm away.

Oh gosh, am I sounding worried again? Well maybe I am, a little. I shouldn't be?
Fact is that I'm so excited about our maybe-soon-or-almost-already new family and very looking forward to it, that it would be a huge disappointment to me if something came in between.

I finally had my audience with the family Goddess yesterday, and while I was a little shy and nervous at first, all went well and I guess I passed the first test. The test was.. uhmmm... ehhhm... rather oral...

xXx

Taking steps

It's not easy taking up blogging again, after a period of absence. Certainly not when a lot of things seem to have happened at the same time...

Anyway... taking it up where we ended: boxed in a room with no door or window.

At some point I have been taken out of it. Not by the woman who put me in, nor by the one who left me at her mercy, but by a Miss who took me home, to her Mistress and... to my Pike :)
No, those 2 are not the same. But I learned Miss Dio is considering collaring Pike, and like this she more or less will get me too. It's difficult and perhaps inappropriate to tell all details here, but Pike and me will be on trial soon to get admitted to Miss Dio's family. And for the both of us, I sincerely hope we will succeed this trial.

The 'official' trial hasn't started yet, but quite an effort has been required of us anyway. Miss needs us to put some extra scripts in our restraints, and sort out our inventory in the RLV folder. Combined with some sl bad behavior, this is quite a job! At some point I even thought I had lost my collar, which I consider my wedding ring. sl will never change I guess...

xXx

Put away

Is this a nightmare? I'm finding myself in a small room without door or window, completely cut off from the outside world. All I can see is 6 faces looking exactly the same. Only gravity tells me which side is up, which must be walls, and which is down.
It's warm inhere, and I'm still wearing a latex catsuit and thigh high boots. I want to take them off, but my arms are tightly tied behind my back.
I want to breathe, I want to scream, but a ballgag is firmly secured in my mouth. So tight I can't even utter the slightest mumble.

I guess you won't be hearing more of me soon...

Good luck, Syllie!

It's been all a bit confusing last week, and maybe upsetting a little... time to put some things in the right order again?!

Nah... not gonna do this here! We can't put everything on the Internet, can we?

But the result is, Syllie is disappearing out of our sl, at least for a while. Sounds hard, but the story behind is a very strict Domina is going to take care for her for some time, and for that sake, blocks her completely, and even orders her to hide her online status to her friends.
I recognize this need, and I understand Syllie's longing for this. I hope Syllie still reads this blog (and leaves me a little message), and gets to know I support her in this choice. I was uncomfy first, but after talking to this Domina, I'm okay about all this. And after all, I have to let go some things...

So... there was a request, or even a demand, for me to hand the key to Syllie's belt to this Domina. It's why I had to meet her, and talk to her in the first place. I was cool when I finally handed the key, but before that could happen, this Latex Domina had to untie my securely bound arms...

Now did my arms get so tied up??
As I was walking in the new Kelley Park at Zohra saturday, I bumped onto Sophia Barett, and Marine Kelley herself, and after some talking, Sophia and myself ended up bound. Marine bound my arms so well, I couldn't use my hands anymore at all, and even tp-ing away was quite a challenge, without inventory or maps. I believe poor Sophia was even more restricted, and to finish it all up Marine put Sophia's keys in my pocket.. where they still are.
My mission was to walk off and find someone to untie me...

So I ran off to Gritzi estate... nobody home.
I tried to get to StoneHaven next, where, as I was unable to use my hands (touch), I couldn't get any further than the mall at the entrance. Of course I could've IM'ed a friend to help me, but that wouldn't be to the very spirit of my mission...

A cute girl was trying to get used to her new ballet boots though, what didn't go that well, as every so many steps she painfully fell on the ground. The boots were very nice though, a bit expensive, but certainly worth the pain and humiliation of learning to walk in them by much falling...
I asked to help me and untie me, and she did, but then she somehow got afraid of having interfered with Marine's work, she and Carro, who happened also to be around, tied me tight again. Not much I could do!

So that's my little bondage story...
I felt like ranting a little, seeing Sophia totally wrapped in latex, and Syllie being reduced to a packet of flesh wrapped by latex and metal, not able to hear me or even see me(?), and that Dollie girl suffering in her cute boots, and... but I was rather helpless myself that very moment too, I got my part myself, didn't I?
And maybe Syl's Domina one day will give me some of her "treatment" too.

But there's more potentially good news!
... but that will be for a next post ;-P

xXx

At work in the Asylum

A colleague and me observing a patient in isolation.

I'm the one with the pink uniform on the right. And yes, I'm wearing a transparent latex catsuit underneath...

;-)

Isolated thoughts

My MD isolation is taking slightly longer than I had thought it to take. Not in sl hours, I'm not stacking penalty time like one easily does in Banishment, but in not making enough sl hours this week due to a busy rl.

However, I'm down to 1 sl hour of isolation now, so it can be expected my communications will get restored tonight. It will be weird, because somehow I'm getting used to get around as a deaf-mute half-blind latex humanoid, knowing very little of what is going on around her, understanding even less, and not really caring any more about it too.
Basic sl gestures are my friends now, and it's surprising how much I actually can "say" through them. At least, that's what I think, because I have mostly no idea whether the other people understand what I try to make clear, or are even noticing me to start with. Only very few try to communicate. Sad, because although it's frustrating and hard, it's challenging me too, and I like it. Even have been fantasizing of being made sl deaf and/or mute long term.

Another part of me though longs to become a "full part of society" again, talking to people, listening to them, caress Pike, meeting new and old friends,... I even feel my D side waking up again!
I've been dreaming about me domming while wearing my red latex torso and transparent catsuit, with my long sexy red boots, but with a slave helmet locked on my head, and a chastity belt around my waist, or even a tight corset.

*blushes invisibly inside helmet*

Lost in isolation

As I wrote in my previous post, I have been captured by Kira and imprisoned in her dungeon. I was hoping for my Pike to rescue me.

So... Pike came and tried to negotiate, while having to avoid being enslaved herself. I dunno the details of this negotiations, but I saw her getting the rank of Mistress again.
Then She told me she let Kira know about the MD Prison system, and if Kira liked that, I would regain my freedom. And... Kira apparently likes it!

But does this mean I am free now? Of course not!
It's even worse: I have been put in the MD prison myself, and I'm facing the world now through a semi-transparent maze, totally deaf and mute, even emotes are not allowed. Sometimes, for a reason I don't know, maybe even randomly, my view turns completely black.

I have been an MD prisoner before - for shorter time - and the most frustrating about it is the total lack of ways to make yourself clear, or even just to let people know you cannot hear them or talk to them. But now I learned there is a tiny way of expression left open: gestures! I can shrug, nod yes or no, and a little more basic gestures. And although I can't say anything myself, I can hear IM.

After a long time in a 'pod' (MD Prison has no cells, but small pods), I'm on 'probation' now, enclosed in my isolation suit, but free to move around. In theory, because apparently I must have been in the way, since they forced me back in my regular cell, reducing my already limited freedom even further. I think my Sis would be jealous..

My probation time will end... some time. But will that get me free? Will my Pike get me out of there in the end? Will I be promoted to be a guard or even a Mistress again, just like I desired at the beginning of this story? Or will I be ready for the Asylum again?

Oh nooo!

What a weird day in sl yesterday... after a long time no see, my sis Qt and I finally got to spend some time together. So we chatted a little, and at some point we decided to visit Paine Asylum so I could show Sis where I found some mental rest first and am working now.

We tp'ed there, and were about to enter the building, when Kira appeared. You should know, dear reader, both Sis and I have some kind of a history with Kira and her Sadism group. Hmmmm, is that an understatement?

Now the last part in my history with Kira was me being ejected from the Sadism group. Since I hadn't got the opportunity to ask about that, after Kira beating us up and going home again, I did...

The reply was a tp offer. A bit a strange reply, but thinking it would only last a minute and seeing Qt was talking to someone else, I took the tp... which ended me somewhere in a prison cell.

It's all a bit too confusing and complicated to write down in detail, but they made me a slave and are not really going to release me soon, I think. If they are going to respect my limits a bit - which they didn't do yesterday, even after me warning them explicitely - I don't mind this happening to me...

But I did mind leaving Qt behind, and not, as I thought to do, return after a minute. I felt so bad, I felt so sorry, I felt ashamed,... I don't know whether there is any decent excuse for this.
I tried to make it good with Sis, I hope I did, I hope she understands.

And I hope Pike comes to rescue me :-)

Virtual happiness?

My sis Qt reminded me I told her long time ago she would not find happiness in sl the way she wanted it. This might be hard the way it sounds, but that time I was very desperate on her, and kinda mad to see her unhappy. Frustrated even, as I realized even me - and certainly me - would never be able to help my sis, my dear friend.
But the truth behind unfortunately still holds: one has to adapt ones wishes and desires to what can be achieved. In al lifes, but especially in sl, as most of us are there to have some fun, and - as I suspect - to find some relief from rl.

They say you can be whoever or whatever you want in sl. That's true to a certain level, but after all you still are who you are, your sl avatar and you share the same soul... your avatar's character lives somewhere deep inside the rl you. Maybe very hidden, maybe not, maybe you didn't even know it was there. Yes, sl can help you discover a lot about yourself, whether it be good or bad.

I see around me a lot of close friends suffering to find and keep virtual happiness, and Saint knows I get my part of suffering too. Just read this blog...
But I am starting to realize now you have to be open to it, and - more importantly? -accept what you get. Try to not be blind for the love and friendship that is offered to you, even when it's not exactly what you expected.

To me, my stay in the Paine Asylum was a highlight in my history. It saved me. I was right another time when I wrote here about half a year ago I needed it. I feel better now. I should start my training to work there, to give something back.
But... the call of restriction is so strong, I might need some more isolation time first...

Out on the streets again

Good news everyone! (©Futurama) I have been found sane again and been released...

I can't stress enough how thankful I am for this magnificent rp experience. There should be more setups like this in sl...

As said before, I'd love to be a nurse or doctor or whatever there, and I applied for a job indeed, but for now, I need some time to chill out, or whatever you might call it.

Some time to talk to friends, visit places,... I have been blocked from IM and restricted to a couple of rooms for weeks. After some time you get used to the small world you're confined to, and you stop being aware there is more outside. But this Outside World moves on, with or without you, and the longer you were away from it, the more you notice when you return, it has indeed moved on.

Apart from 'working' at the Asylum, I really don't have any plans right now. Pike's still in the Asylum, and considering my job application, I don't bother at all her staying there some more time ;-)
I do bother not having seen her for more than a week, though, but ... rl happens.

Ahhh well.... relax Danii, and take your pills!

xXx

Getting better.... or not?

Time passes by very fast. I'll be a Paine Asylum patient for 4 weeks soon, a month...
Well, rl hasn't given me a lot of time to play recently, and apparently the same goes for my friends. Or maybe it's just bad timings? It's been ages I've seen Pike, for example.
It drives me crazy :-P

I was able to be online only for half an hour yesterday, but this was enough to bounce into another patient and get some nice rp.
Jayleia Greene was the SLBI agent who arrested Pike and me and had us sent to slJail long time ago. And she's either gone crazy by her job as a crime fighter, either is infiltrating in the Asylum to spy on Pike or me. But she seemed very afraid of me, even more afraid than me...
The setting of 2 paranoids afraid of each other was very promising for some lovely rp, and what we got so far was very funny too. I was really sorry some rl appointment came in between. But yeah... rl happens.

sl happens too. Those spontaneous rp's may be the hardest to get, but they're the best. And in that light the Asylum is a gold mine, as everyone is in rp mode (nearly) all the time. And a lot of the patient characters are very well elaborated, almost creepy..

Okay, write me down for a job here!
...after I got sane, that is :-P

xXx

Still in the House of Mental Hygiene

It seems I'm here now for more than 3 weeks now, and still not ready for the outside world again. Although doctors and nurses keep telling there's a lot of process in my healing.

Fact is, the longer I am staying in this protected environment, the harder it might become to reintegrate into society again. It seems Danii's paranoid fears of witches and other evil people and creatures are fading away to make room for the fear of being outside the warm and cosy asylum shell again...

But silently, it's becoming time to move along one way or another. I'd say I have seen all of Paine Asylum now, but that's not true. While the default punishment for triggering the fire alarm is some time in isolation, I haven't seen an isolation cell from the inside so far, despite pulling the fire alert twice.
Becoming a member of staff in the Asylum is an option, whether it be as a doctor or as a nurse. But for a girl just released after a long time in a protective and restricting environment, strict guidance and limited, or restrained freedom is probably the first Path to follow..

xXx

More from the Funny Farm

I was right in the end!
Pike is crazy too! In fact she sent me here, because she thought I'm nuts, but as I told the staff from the first day, it's not me but her who is!
And finally, they brought her in too...

So... we're together again. In this picture, you can see me keeping an eye at the side of her bed, while she is taking a nap.

Yes, I still love her!

I also got examined by dr. Hartie:


I don't know what exactly she did to me, as I must have fallen asleep, but I feel more relaxed now. Has she been hypnotizing me?

Sighs from the funny farm

Disturbed greetings from Paine Asylum!

Readers following my moaning a little longer, may remember how I had a nervous breakdown some months ago, and longed very much for the Asylum, which wasn't ready back then. It's kinda ironic that I'm put here now my sl has been recovering greatly.
Made it slightly more challenging to set up my character for the RP, but I really am enjoying the RP of my SLife at the moment! (I'm not deprecating my previous RP's of course, this one just beats them all)
Many many thanks to Katie and Hartie for providing this setup, and to the staff and of course my fellow patients for the great times we're having. I'm not gonna tell their names because of medical privacy reasons, of course, and because I don't want to forget any.

Wait! I'm not done yet! I'm still crazy, ill, confused, disturbed, or whatever!
I guess the doctors are still facing a hell of a job to heal little Danii, who seems to forget what happened the day before, is very scared and panicky sometimes, thinks she is a princess other times, and mmmmmm..... who knows what else will come to float?

I would wave if I weren't in this straight jacket... ;-)

Nuts

It's finally happened... I've gone crazy!


I'd write more about all this, but I got 'therapy' last night and... I don't remember much.
Well, therapy.... they kinda blew up my mind and toasted my brains.

From one prison to another

I'm back from holiday, and I was released from my lonely cell at Gritzitraz.

Best wishes dear reader!

Having missed my beloved Wife and Mistres for so long, I would do anything to be with her. But when I finally saw her coming online, she seemed to be punished by her Mistress, and put away in a secret prison. I insisted on seeing my Pike though, and that resulted in me being locked away in a cell too.
Now Pike is out, and I'm still a prisoner. I have no idea what will happen to me, or when I will see my Love again. Will She visit me? Will She rescue me? Or is She already trapped somewhere else?