I need a break

As you may have noticed, my previous posts were not so happy. I don't know this one is going to...

I decided to take some time for myself, or at least away from the Family. To find peace of mind and self balance again, and to prevent my Family being hurt by my inner wars breaking out. Maybe this sounds incomprehensible as my mind as always is not thinking in a straight line.

Now I made Pike sad one night, because she reserved some time especialy for me, and I didn't turn up because I needed some time away. I still feel sorry for that, I hope she forgives me and I'll do my very best to avoid such situations in the future. For her, and for me, as it makes me feel bad.

And sis Qt now thinks I abandonned her and betrayed our friendship. Which isn't true. It hurts to read she thinks Pike and I are not honest, and even learn she not only thinks it, but also told Mistress Chantal about it.
While I just need a - serious - break from her endless talking and nagging. I still love her... thightly gagged and prevented from IM and notecards!

I will be a Bane soon, prevented from IM and notecards myself. Banes get extra punishment if they try to communicate, or even move too close to other Banes or people. This isolation will be hard, as it is supposed to. For me, but also for my Family, who will have to miss me for a while as if I ceased to exist.

But it is supposed to be a purifying experience too. Enclosed in my latex isolation, I will be forced to think about my sl, and only my Custodian will have access to me, to gain insight in my thoughts and guide me. Not only control and punish me. I'm not going to tell who's gonna be my Custodian here - it is supposed to be a computer program, not a person - but I am glad she is, as I value her wisdom very much.